A reoccurring theme that we as family lawyers often see is separating or separated parents focusing on allegations made against one another, rather than trying to agree a way forward for their child/children. In the recent judgment of J v K [2023] JRC 259, the Family Court Registrar noted:
“It is, sadly, all too common for parties appearing before this court to rely on the perceived faults or inadequacies of their former partner/ other parent in an attempt to bolster their claim or application, but the family court’s judgment must be restricted to the matters which we are required to take into account by the Law and a parent’s particular characteristics are not relevant save to the extent that they might demonstrate “how capable each of the child’s parents, and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting the child’s needs.”
It is important for all those involved to remember that the Court will only give weight to allegations which objectively put the child/ren at a risk of suffering harm. As the Registrar went on to say in her judgment:
“…the court’s responsibility is not to hold up a mirror to parents to show them the error of their chosen beliefs or their way of life; it is imperative that no court seeks to impose on a party or parent a particular moral compass.”
Unfortunately, it is quite common that separating or separated parents will seek to rely on proving faults or ‘point-scoring’ against the other to try and improve their argument and position in relation to child arrangements. Sadly this invariably leads to increased arguments and a loss of focus on what is best for the child/ren, which in turn leads to lengthier and more costly disputes before the Court; all of which can have an impact upon the child/children involved and of course the parents too.