How separated parents can avoid disputes over the summer holiday arrangements

5 July 2022

Another school year is nearly over and the excitement of a hot and sunny (hopefully) summer holiday is nearing closer for children.  However, the summer holidays are the longest time off for children each year and this can present an added challenge for separated and/or divorced parents.

Children will understandably want to spend time with both parents during the holidays, in addition to seeing their grandparents, other family members and friends.  With this in mind, we have set out some helpful tips and ideas to try and ensure parents can manage childcare and working, whilst allowing children to have as much fun as they can.

Agree the summer holiday arrangements as far in advance as possible

Don’t leave it until the first day of the summer holidays!  Whilst it’s not always possible to make arrangement far in advance (for example those who work shifts and need to see their rota) effective communication and planning ahead can be key.  Agreeing the holiday arrangements as early as possible will ensure there is certainly which will avoid the stress and confusion that can be caused by last minute planning.  It also means that should there be an issue that cannot be resolved you have time to explore ways of resolving this before the summer holidays start (for example trying mediation as discussed below).

Making a Holiday Parenting Plan/Schedule

This won’t be needed in all cases but can be of huge assistance.  Having a plan for the summer holidays stuck to the fridge door can ensure that there is no confusion or room for arguments.

Family support and holiday clubs

Making plans for a six – seven week period can be a challenge for any parent, sometimes requiring a lot of effort to juggle dates, with work and other commitments.  If you are fortunate enough to have a support network, contact them to see if they can help with shared responsibilities. This also means children can catch up with grandparents and wider family members.

If you are thinking of holiday clubs or activities, try and fit these around the times that you both cannot see the children.  This is another reason why communication is so important.  It also helps to plan as far in advance as you can.

Holidays off-island

If you are planning an off island holiday then make sure you tell the other parent as soon as possible.  In most cases you will need the other parent’s consent to take the children away off island.  In circumstances where the Court has made a residence order then the resident parent can take the child away on holiday off island for up to one month without the consent of the other parent, however even in this situation you should ordinarily let the other parent know your plans.

The other parent may well wish to have certain information on the holiday, destination, travel times, contact details, hotel address etc. so be prepared to provide this.  Also, you may need to agree how and when the children can speak to the other parent whilst you are away, for example a video call or calls on certain days/times during the week.

Remember the kids!

This may seem like an obvious statement but whilst the summer holidays are of course about you having some fun time with the children, most children are going to want to spend time with both parents. Depending on the age of the children, the holiday arrangements will need to be made by the parents but always have in mind what is in the children’s best interest, this is usually, in so far as it is possible, seeing both parents.

Mediation

If parents are having trouble in reaching an agreement, it may be useful to attempt mediation.  Mediation is where an independent mediator will sit down with parties with the aim of helping them resolve their issues.  It can be an extremely effective way of helping parties to agree matters and can assist with their working relationship in the long-term via improving communication.

Where an agreement can’t be reached

If an agreement can’t be reached then you may need the assistance of a family lawyer.  We can advise you on the most effective way forward, whether that be mediation, negotiations through lawyers or, as sadly is necessary in some cases, court proceedings.  Whatever the level of our involvement we provide sensitive, pragmatic and cost-effective advice.  We can also offer fixed fee packages.